I think for this post,ill just be direct and blatant about the things in my life that are putting me off at the moment.Its good to share how you really feel.Ive been thinking about the past,the future and of course,the present.This journey of life that i tread,brings with it its own adversities and pains.Most of which i shall nag about in this post.So do read with enthusiasm or just bear with the nagging.
- All my life,ive lived in Puchong and i studied in Subang for the larger part of my life.So that means that all my friends (Well,most of which ive made anyway) live in Subang.
There are some things i wont be able to experience ever again due to my age.
Sometimes i see a group of Puchong teens going out together in one group,i envy them.Ill never know how its like knowing your friends are just down the street or are a few minutes walk from your house.Ill never be able to go meet up with them then go the nearby field just to play and have fun.I wont be able to call them up and have random CC sessions as well.Sigh~
But thats the beauty of life isnt it? We live with some things,and others dont.But it wouldve been great if i had it that way.Then again,you wont be able to treasure the friends you made who live far away from you.
- Can any friendship truly be platonic? From the looks of things i really dont think so,those ominous words that my father warned me about are starting to come true.I have to admit,the toughest part of any guy-girl friendships is contemplating the possibility of the whole thing escalating,unless of course,a line is drawn somewhere.It doesnt have to be me,it can be anyone whose friend is the opposite sex.
I dont mean to come off on the wrong line,but maybe its for the best that some people stay passive for a good reason:They rather not get hurt than focus on creating a tight bond that might be deemed fragile.Its even worse if its a guy-girl friendship.Is it wrong to feel jealous? Does it matter what the other person does,although it doesnt hurt you? And how close can a friendship like this actually get?
But like EVERYTHING else on this wonderful colourful world of ours,theres always the pros/cons.I think close guy friendships are rare and if they do come up,atleast the closest they can both get is at the stage of brotherhood,but how bout guy-girl friendships? Is there such a thing as REALLY close guy-girl friends? Im PRETTY sure theres bound to be some spark here n dere.Its in our BIOLOGICAL NATURE to have this feeling within us,male or female.
From what ive seen,i guess despite a guys best efforts,sometimes its just not enough.Yes,your a nice guy,yes,you treat her differently from others,yes youget her gifts.The signs are obvious.But what is it about guys,that makes it easier for girls to warm up to some guys and much harder to others? The looks? The attitude? The charm?
I realize after awhile,that removing that ''mask'' from yourself is actually harder than it looks.As much as i dont want to say it,sometimes some people are better off staying passive.That way,they can just focus their real selves with people they love/care.The hardest part for guys is that,sometimes even if things could work out,it just wont.
Most of us have probably heard things like ''taking it slow'' or ''no rush'' or ''one step at a time''.Well for girls,that is can be really true...but for guys....I think they could live to regret doing that.Sometimes fate deals you a cruel blow and something youve been working on for so long can just shatter in an instant when someone else comes into to the picture.This reminds me,a friend of mine warned me that guy-girl friendships are better off passive.Maybe he's right...Then again,how many guy-guy friendships go deep? It all depends on the individual.
(On second thought,screw this point,after a chance encounter with a particular book,it changed my perception of how i should *Or how all men should* interact with the opposite sex.Face it guys,it should always be OUR fault,seriously)
- Sometimes (If not,most of the time) i wonder if im being too thoughtful,because it seems like it isnt worth it.Maybe being too friendly and kind will lead you to being taken for granted,cus if your ''always there'' then sometimes people can just USE you and not think about how you feel.It feels terrible..
Its even more worse if,for all this while,you remained thoughtful,always putting the interests of those you care for infront of your own,but he/she never realizes it and instead finds thoughtfulness in someone he/she just met.Is this what happens when friends stick with each other for so long?That they tend to forget that their friends has always been there for them?I would like the idea that he/she just forgot,but sometimes,i guess they dont even realize it.
Being too trusting of someone,even your closest friends,can bring you disappointment,as i have found out.But isnt that what friendships all about? Dealing with whats bad and enjoying whats good? Then again,i wouldnt want to hope for things that might not turn out,cus maybe it wont ever.
This is why people wear ''masks'',their afraid that their pre-conceived idea of someone might not turn out and it would just lead to disappointment.They dont want to get hurt.
But you know.. REAL friends are prepared to get hurt,even if the wound may be deep sometimes,this is what true friendship is all about,its about knowing when hard times will fall and WILLINGLY going through it,even if the ones you trust werent there to help you on your feet when you stumble.Who ever said its all clear seas and no storms? Sometimes you have to pick yourself up,cus even your closest friends might not help you.Its life..
Ive realized this,so sometimes,even if your friends arent what they seem or if you feel that they dont appreciate you enough,its okay,atleast you know deep down,you were being true to yourself and to them.I think people who EMBRACE the fact that they WILL get hurt,one way or another,but yet still go thru with it...those are the kind of people this world needs...people who prepare for adversity and take it head-on,in friendship and in love and in the family and all other walks of life.
Stay true to yourself and be all that you can be to those you care for.Its worth it,even if your hurt sometimes. =)
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